🔗 Share this article Balancing the Yearning for Casual Encounters While Seeking a Meaningful Relationship As a homosexual male approaching 50, my life has involved many, largely pleasurable years engaging in casual sex with other men from my teenage years. In my 30s, I was in a serious relationship that lasted a significant period, however it never fully satisfied me, because I felt neither loved nor intimately fulfilled. The fact is that my constant desire has been for casual sex. Whenever I begin seeing a potential partner, when the initial excitement dwindles, I always get the urge to be intimate with new partners once more. Reflecting on the Feasibility of Monogamy Currently, I'm contemplating whether it's possible for me to maintain a monogamous relationship. I understand that numerous gay men have open relationships, but when I’ve witnessed them, they have seemed like hard work, often resulting in significant pain and jealousy for everyone involved. To a large extent, I desire a partner to love me while allowing me to pursue other intimacies, however I fear the psychological toll this would cause. Should I just keep having spontaneous encounters and accept that a lasting partnership may be unattainable? I feel a bit lost. Every person’s sexual journey fluctuates. Try not to think of your relationship needs or your ability to tolerate various forms of sexual unions in a finite way. Your needs in your current state may well change in the future; eventually you may find yourself less ambivalent and discover greater understanding and a comfortable path … or not. One day you could encounter a person who provides a transformative opportunity for you through mirroring your desires completely … and later on you may choose that non-committal encounters suit you best. Worrying about the future and engaging in the “What if?” game is simply anxiety-based and a waste of your efforts. Try to be present with your partners, and see the value of every individual you connect with intimately a sexual connection. When and if you are ever ready to deepen genuine closeness with a single person, you will know. The psychotherapist practices as a US-based therapy professional focusing on addressing intimacy issues.